


Field Day

by embolalia



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-12
Updated: 2003-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-15 20:43:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14797637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embolalia/pseuds/embolalia
Summary: It's self-explanatory.





	Field Day

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

 

**Field Day**

******Disclaimer:** You don’t need me to tell you...  
**Category:** CJ/Toby, General  
**Rating:** CHILD  
**Written:** 11/7/02  
**Summary:** It’s self-explanatory.  
**Author's Note:** Because seniors shouldn’t have to participate in silly sporting trials, and because at least writing in my head was a distraction from monster ball J. And seven days before the English AP, any writing should count as studying, right?  
**Dedication:** To my advisor, b/c she got her red team to be famous communists.

Toby looked into CJ’s eyes, saw her lean toward him in haste, leant forward himself, and bit down hard. The soft flesh was rather bitter on his tongue, and he nearly let go, but CJ was pulling away and Sam was pulling on his hand to hurry.

Toby turned, the orange half in his mouth, and saw Sam leaning toward him with his mouth wide open and a pleading expression on his face. Toby spit the orange into his palm and handed it to his friend.

“Toby!” shrieked CJ.

“No.” Toby said. “No, I don’t think so.”

Josh suddenly screamed with glee from a few yards away as Donna dropped the orange he’d passed her into the ‘done’ bucket. “Ha! The red commies strike again!”

 

**~Two Days Earlier~**

 

“Excuse me Mr. President?” CJ said starkly, articulating the expression on the faces of the other members of the senior staff.

“I said, we don’t get to have fun with each other enough, and we’re going to have a field day!” He sat back in his chair, as if waiting for them to applaud.

“Sir, I’m sorry, sir, isn’t that what chili is for?” Josh asked. The President turned and gave him a death glare.

“This week, Mr. Lyman, that is what field day is for. It’ll be Sunday afternoon, you wouldn’t have been working anyway,” Josh sighed.

“Will there at least be prizes?”

“Well now, I’d hoped you’d do it for the sheer fun!” Many eyes rolled. “But, I guess we’ll have a surprise for the winning team. So, here’s what we’ll do. There’ll be two teams-”

“I get to be Captain!” shouted Toby and Josh at the same time.

“I get Donna!”

“I get CJ!”

“Hey!” complained Sam.

“Leave them alone, they had to pick the girls first,” the President muttered to him, quirking his eyebrows. Toby, Josh and CJ looked outraged, but that was a subject better ignored.

“Sam’s on my team, then,” Toby got out quickly.

“Charlie’s on mine.”

“Larry.”

“Ed.”

“Well, now I’m feeling left out,” the POTUS said dryly. Toby and Josh turned to him with equal looks of consternation. “Just kidding,” the President said with a laugh, “Leo and I will be judging.”

“Mr. President,” CJ got a word in edgewise for the first time in the conversation, “are you sure this is the best use of our time?”

“Would you rather _work_ , Claudia Jean?” the President asked in mock shock.

“Than look like a fool not only in front of my friends but likely in front of spectators and the press? Yes sir.” CJ replied vehemently.

“I hadn’t thought of them! What a great idea! It’ll be a human interest story!” CJ groaned as the president mocked her. “We’re going to get you guys some great t-shirts and-”

“Sir, we just found out we don’t have federal funds for a dozen other projects and now we’re-”

“Why Sam! I would have thought you’d be enthused! Anyway, I’ll pay for this. It’ll be an entertainment expense.”

“I just- I had some bad field days in school.”

“Well, we all pity you, but you still have to play.”

“Yes sir,” Sam said meekly. The President glanced around at his staff. The rest seemed to have run out of immediate objections, so he grinned and dismissed them.

 

**~The Next Day~**

 

“So, I know what we should be!”

“I’m sorry Donna, it’s 6:30 in the morning. You have to be a little more specific when it’s this early. But I bet if you brought me coffee, I’d wake up faster.”

Donna ignored him, prattling on. “For field day! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me last night, but CJ was complaining, and anyway, we’re red and we just have to be the communists!”

Josh turned to her, wide-eyed. “Excuse me?”

“What?” Donna was giving him her most innocent stare.

“You’d like a group of White House employees to spontaneously start calling themselves commies?”

“The President says it’s okay!”

“Oh dear god,” Josh muttered, unceremoniously slamming his office door in her face as braced himself for the day.

 

~

 

It was CJ’s job, it seemed, to explain to disgruntled White House staffers why they would be sacrificing their Sunday afternoons to play Pass-the-Orange, relay races, softball, capture-the-flag, chubby bunny and water-balloons with dozens of their coworkers.

At the moment, Larry and Ed were in the middle of a confusing argument with her.

“How can we be separated?”

“Well, you’re not Siamese twins, are you? Larry’s on Toby’s team, and Ed’s on Josh’s team.”

“But I want to be on Toby’s team!”

“Aren’t you already?”

“Huh?”

“You’re Larry, right?”

“No! I’m Ed.”

“Wait, what?”

“He’s Larry and I’m Ed. He’s Larry.”

“Okay, could we stop saying the names? I’m getting confused. Whichever one of you is Larry is with Toby, and the other is with Josh. Alright? That’s the end of it.”

As the two men walked out of her office, Larry snickered and turned to his friend. “Now that was just cruel.”

“Yeah, she should have put us on the same team.”

 

~

 

“Oh my god,” CJ moaned, sinking into Toby’s couch between other members of their team, “I don’t know how I’ll get through the next day.”

“Here.” Something soft landed on her stomach, followed by something hard.

“Ow, Toby...what?”

“The t-shirt is for tomorrow. We’re blue, I called it. And that’s a softball. We need to practice.”

“My god, Toby, how an you possibly be taking something communal and fun-oriented seriously?” CJ moaned.

“Well, we need to beat Josh.” CJ rolled her eyes, then closed them. The President was a better politician than even she’d given him credit for; he knew exactly how to manipulate them.

“The blue what’s?” Sam asked, joining the impromptu team meeting.

“Huh?”

“What’s our team name?” CJ clarified.

“Oh god, I don’t know.”

“You’re the writer. Hm...the blue lagoons?”

“CJ.”

“What?”

“Never be a writer.”

“The blue-bloods?” Larry suggested. Toby glared at him.

“We can always throw you off if you don’t play nicely.”

Larry broke the stare first, muttering “now there’s a strategy.”

 

~

 

Toby stepped into Josh’s office.

“Hey!” shrieked Josh.

“Hey what?”

“I could have secret strategies for capture-the-flag on my desk! You should have knocked.”

“Well, if you did, not only would I be very worried, but I’d want to see them. And, thank God, you don’t. Right?”

“Well...”

“Josh!”

“Just kidding. This whole thing is starting to get a little crazy.”

Toby took a seat. “That’s for sure. Suddenly everyone is excited.”

“It’ll be fun, I guess.”

“Not for you, we’re gonna kick your sorry asses.” Toby stayed as serious as possible while Josh nearly choked on a sip of water.

“You and what army?”

“At least I’m not leading Mao’s,” Toby snickered. Josh started laughing, his mouth full of the water he didn’t want to try to swallow yet. At last he did.

“That was all Donna. So, what are you guys?”

“Um...you’ll just have to find out tomorrow.” Toby rose to leave. “When we kick your asses.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that. See you tomorrow.”

 

**~Field Day~**

 

The blue team arrived on the front lawn in their royal blue t-shirts, the team name inscribed in black permanent marker. After much debate over ‘the blueberries’ (CJ’s idea) ‘the Blue Brigade’ (Sam’s) and various jokes about Toby being blue, the shirts read simply ‘Toby’s team.’ The Red Commies were similarly attired.

In keeping with the color scheme, Leo and POTUS, as judges, wore white shirts that read, ‘Keepers of the Peace.’

“Now, how can you wear that when you’re the one instigating this?” CJ asked the President impetuously.

“Young lady, I’m the leader of the free world, and I can do anything I want. And I declare this to be field day. Now go over there and fill- oh, Larry and Ed got the water balloons. Why don’t you try and find a couple flags?” CJ rolled her eyes and acquiesced.

Leo grinned at her and turned to POTUS. “You’re really going to do this for your own entertainment, right?”

“Just wait until they find out there are no points. Did you get the prizes?”

“You bet.”

 

~

 

“Hey, you’re on the other team,” Toby said absentmindedly to Ed as he approached the blue team.

“No I’m not. Look, blue t-shirt.” Ed pulled it out to show Toby.

“But Larry’s on our team.”

“Right.”

“And- hey, how are you wearing his t-shirt? Do you and Ed live together?”

“I am Ed.”

“Um- look, you’re on the other team. Tell Larry come over...or whatever.” Ed grinned at Toby’s confusion and wandered away. Stage one was complete.

 

~

 

Josh and Donna’s commies, as the captain and deputy captain had taken to calling their team, quickly won the orange-passing relay. Sam was quite hurt, and CJ thought she saw tears hinting in his eyes.

“Sam?”

“This- this was always why I hated field day.”

“Because of pass-the-orange?”

“Nobody else wanted to stand next to me! I was with a whole bunch of girls and they thought boy spit had cooties.” Sam looked sad.

“How old were you?” CJ asked tentatively.

“Six. After that I didn’t participate anymore.” CJ tried valiantly to hold back her giggles, but failed. As she doubled over laughing at the story and at Sam’s hurt look, Toby glanced over impatiently to see why his team was distracted.

“Sam? What’s wrong with her?”

“Nothing,” Sam said quickly, glaring at CJ as if daring her to tell. Red in the face and hold her breath, CJ nodded decorously. Toby gave them a suspicious glance, then waved them closer to the huddle the rest of the team was forming.

“Alright men,” he started.

“And women,” CJ added.

“And woman.” She glared at him. “For the relay...”

 

~

 

The blue team won the relay, which Josh credited to their long-legged sprinter and Toby attributed to the fact that Donna had elected to take of her t-shirt and reveal her bikini top just as Josh was about to run. Softball went to the commies and their unified fielding.

Capture the flag stalled out after half an hour, for the slowing tiring staff failed to see the point in attacking a silly and unrealistically visible target when there was no value at all.

“But, today at least, I am king of this field, and I said capture the flag!” POTUS protested. The staff, unified as a whole, refused, so Leo tossed a coin and arbitrarily gave the win to Toby’s team.

In the same sober mood, the staff refused to stuff sufficient marshmallows into their mouths for anyone to win at chubby bunny, and at that point Toby and Josh simultaneously noticed they were missing teammates.

“Did Ed come back to your team?” CJ asked.

“Yeah, but he was blue, so I sent him away,” Josh told her. “At least...I think it was Ed.”

“I know what you mean. Larry! Ed!” she shouted to the two men as they approached. Both wore black shirts and were carrying buckets.

“Ah, but which one is which?” said one of the two. They set down the buckets. “Here. Water balloons as per POTUS’ orders.”

“Thanks,” said Toby. The others pulled off their t-shirts, leaving shorts or bathing suits.

“Hey Mr. President, how does one win at water balloons?” Josh called to the President.

“By staying clean!” the President shouted back.

“Huh?” Josh said as he walked away, then started to duck as Larry- or Ed?- lobbed a water balloon at him. It exploded in a haze of red dye amidst shrieks from Josh and the other new targets.

“Yeah, you definitely all deserved that, what with your attitudes,” the President called from a safe distance.

“Really? You might too,” called CJ, snagging an unburst balloon off the ground and sending it spilling blue due all over the white-clothed ‘keeper-of-the-peace.’ His expression had Leo laughing on the ground at his glowering friend.

“Could you tell us about how the leader of the free world is always in control?” Josh shouted.

“Ed! Larry!” the President implored, siccing his troops on the rebels of the senior staff. Pelting dye-balloons quickly became the favorite event of the afternoon, and at last the group ran out and collapsed on the ground in the late afternoon sunshine, gasping for breath.

“So, Mr. President,” CJ started, “how about those prizes?”

“Well, I decided it would be too hard to pick a winner-”

“But we won! It’s quite clear from the scores that-”

“Mr. Ziegler, I’d thank you to wait.” Toby looked appalled. “I appreciate your effort, but I’ve decided that everyone wins. Everyone gets a prize.” Donna and Josh cheered while the rest of the senior staff glared at the president. They all sat silently a moment.

“Well?” ventured CJ.

“Well, what?”

“What’s the prize?”

“I thought you couldn’t stand this thing!”

“Yes, but I ran, and I bit things other people had spat on,” several of the others looked mildly ill, “and I’m wet and multi-colored and I want my prize!”

The president grinned. “Well, you had a great attitude, but alright. For everyone- chili! Because I know how much you all love it. And don’t you even start to groan because I can always take it away again. Inside. Now.”

The staff collectively made faces at his back as they all followed him into the residence.

 

~

 

At the seats around the table were wrapped packages.

“Are these for us?” Sam asked eagerly.

“No, there for the other dozens of friends he invited over for dinner,” CJ taunted. He looked hurt and made as if to retort, but CJ stopped him with a look that plainly said, ‘you’re really going to talk when I have blackmail material?’

“The ones on that side are for the red team, and that side for the blue team,” the President instructed.

Josh opened his package first, and held up its contents. The shirt read ‘I Work in the West Wing...and I Swear We’re Not Communists.’ Donna went into hysterics.

“At least, I hope you’re not,” the President said pointedly, amidst the laughter.

Sam was next. ‘I Promise if Toby Wasn’t Captain We Would Have Had A Better Name.’

“Hey!” shouted Toby, as CJ squealed and collapsed into her chair, leaning back against Sam.

“Well, you know I’m only kidding, right?” said the President with mock-sincerity.

“Yeah, so you preserved this lovely little phrase on everyone’s t-shirts for all time!” Toby’s indignation only made his friends laugh harder.

“Hey, what about Ed and Larry?” asked CJ, “we still don’t really know which team they’re on.

“Ah. For them, something special. Leo!” called the President, waving over his friend, who held two packages, waved them back and forth between the two men in question, and finally stopped with his arms crossed. They opened the plastic-sealed packages together, and held up the shirts. Each had one man’s picture and name in big, black, capital letters.

“To prevent any further confusion, we’d like you to wear them everyday,” the President joked.

“Don’t think he’s kidding!” shouted Josh from across the room.

“Hey, Mr. President,” CJ said thoughtfully as they all sat down for chili, “why did you give us t-shirts if we already had them?”

“Well, yours were ruined, CJ,” POTUS said innocently.

“How could you know they would be?” Her pointed question drew the attention of the rest of the table. “If it was all Ed and Larry plotting...”

The President winked at the other men.

“Well, guys, I guess this’ll just teach you not to screw with people’s plans.”

“Sir! It was out Sunday!”

“And you got a t-shirt and chili, so shut up.” With a laugh at Josh’s outrage, Leo carried out a steaming pot of chili, and field day was thus concluded.


End file.
